Neck

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​​​​I almost combined skull and neck into the same page, they are SO closely related really! 

 

Sometimes I must remind myself of the childhood injuries, when I find myself in a bad place and seething angry hate at the person who I BELIEVE permanently injured my neck.

 

The only way to dissolve the anger is to realize that my skeletal frame was probably full of breaks to begin with, and maybe he just exasperated something that was already there? As I type this, though, the OTHER side of my brain is screaming BULLSHIT!

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I never had ANY problems with my neck until this asshole made a bad choice and I paid the price.

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Here's the story.

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It was the summer of 1999 or 2000, when my family went to a family picnic, about an hour away.

The family there had a nice property, and a golf cart/wheeled thing that the kids liked to take turns driving around their neighbor's horse track. (they had permission of course!)

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My son (around 8) and I waited patiently for our turn, and when it was time we were getting strapped in, with him as the driver and me as the passenger.

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Then my cousin's drunk husband pulled my son out of the driver seat. I will NEVER FORGET THOSE LAST WORDS:

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"I'll show her how to do it."

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He jumped in, and to be honest he is a nice man, or so I always thought, he just merely wanted to show me how to work the thing, so I could let my son take me for a spin (show him how to do it) around the track. 

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I'M SURE THAT WAS THE INTENTION.

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Unfortunately, that is not what happened.

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This man seemed to push that little cart to go as fast as it could and on one of the turns, it flipped over.

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My head slammed off the ground, and the cage-like thing at the top (that didn't save me from slamming into the ground) rolled on my shoulder/arm and pinned me to the ground with the cousin's husband hanging from his seat belt, half the weight of him on me.

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Like a typical man: I bet he was sore too, yet never thought of me, the one who was half his weight yet bounced off the ground and acted as a cushion to stop his own body from hitting the sold ground. Never  a "how's Judy?" Nothing.

 

My arm was pinned until people came running to get him off and then turn the thing right side up. These people must remember!!

 

My head was aching and I remember crying the whole hour-long trip home.

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I am not so angry about this accident as it is now, because OF COURSE: accidents DO happen.

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I'm angry because this situation is a PERFECT EXAMPLE about how dysfunctional families can break the mind and body of a youth and then ridicule them for being "less than."

 

It is a factor in the cult-like control that abusers keep over them as adults.

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Instead of anyone taking me to the ER, they took me home. I ruined the party with my neck injured and crying, don't you know?

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On the way home my parents talked about how that could be our last picnic there, because of the trouble that may come from me going to the DR, and how we wouldn't be invited to the picnics anymore because the house where the picnic was at, was one of the two people in our family "with money."

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My father WAS SO DAMNED WORRIED that they would think we were trying to sue them or go after their money, that he scared me enough NOT to go to the hospital.

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WEEKS later I could still not put my head into an upright position and I finally went, telling the DR I fell.

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For years after that I would wake up unable to turn head, and have to go to ER for shots in my ass: a muscle relaxer and pain med combo, the only thing allowing my neck to move.

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As a matter of fact, at least once per year I would be laid up for days because of my neck, until I realized that it was being caused by moving my head into a certain position, and if I stopped moving my head in that way: my neck doesn't go into a days-long spasm MESS of pain coupled with an inability to move it.

 

It happened so much I have evolved to, plainly put, not move my head into that position and it takes away 1/4 of the normal range of my head.

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Look forward as if looking at a clock, and imagine that the area between 1-3 is a 1/4 chunk of a circle. That 1/4 is of limits for me, without moving my head very slowly and with great care. I can turn my head to the right and look down, but never to the right and up. Never without pain ;0(

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This is why I am SO ANGRY at that rich man, who is believed to be a nice person as far as I know.

 

In my heart I KNOW he would have taken his loved one to the ER pronto. He would have never been too afraid of the familial consequence, for something as simple as doing the right thing.

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The animosity is so great that I prefer to try and not think about any of them, but unfortunately I do whenever I make the mistake of moving my head the wrong way and suffering for days.

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Next, The Gastrointestinal

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