Body

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I cannot blame all of the physical problems on my father, of course. There are many different ailments, each can be lived with individually, but when you have several flaring up each day, it is everday pain.

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I understand that instead of being anti-pharmeceutical, I could be one of the millions of opiate-addicted people in this country, but I choose to suffer simply because I KNOW in the future, when I am "older" I will need to take them and probably have no choice.

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One of the circumstances that leads to the individuality of my case is that I was indoctrinated to NOT show pain, so it usually doesn't register until it is bad..

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The reason this happens, or so I believe, is because my father chose to belittle/demean/berate me in front of people at family gatherings whenever he got the chance. One of the favorite saying was how "weak" I was. In fact, one of the things he said that STILL echoes in my head, is how I was "so weak it hurts her to walk on grass."

 

This was due to my broken foot that was never attended to, (click here to read about it) but anyway.

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I was conditioned not to show pain, and in fact to this day I can have a hard, heavy, or blood-drawing"thing" fall on me or hurt me in some way and will stubbornly continue to walk thru the pain or bleeding and work through it until my chore is done. I feel like I go into a FRANKENSTEIN-like

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Must..

get..

DONE! Mode.

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I feel like this weird trait is part of the reason I had heartburn that ate my esophagus while I didn't even know I had it. I developed a mind over matter thinking that said if I pretended it didn't hurt, then it didn't hurt?

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Click on the body part to learn more than what was written on the pamphlet.

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